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Category: Letters

To My Aunt

BART, you probably haven’t read about this [forwarded message: Why Did Jesus Fold the Napkin?] ––––– you are so brilliant, and I understand how your mind was to reject Jesus, but He is the only way to salvation, He is the only God who died on the cross for our sins–––statues of buddah, baal and Hinduisms and islam and everything else is NOT the way to anything===go back to reading the Bible and before each reading ask God to help you understand. In these last days, you want to be prepared for heaven and the final judgement–––I am so serious, I really hope you understand that I love you and Christy and Persephone––––wouldn’t be much of an aunt if I didn’t at least tell you how important you are.

Epistle to the Ecotopians

I don’t often do this, but here are some words written by someone else. I guess I should add a few words of my own. I read Ecotopia in the late 80s. Written by Ernest Callenbach, it’s an imaginative novel that speculates on what would happen if the west coast of the United States seceded from the union and established a country based on the radical idea of living sustainably. I read it in a class on utopian literature at Indiana University, taught by the amazing Edward Gubar. I loved that class. Incidentally, today I saw that Edward’s ex-wife Susan Gubar is on the front page of the Chronicle of Higher Education. She is also a writer facing her own mortality, just as Ernest Callenbach has done. Callenbach died a few weeks ago, and this letter was found on his computer. It was obviously written as a final statement. Please, please read it. Also, many thanks to TomDispatch.com for first publishing this epistle.

Dear Mr. West

Entergy New Orleans
1600 Perdido St
New Orleans, LA 70112

Attn: Rod West, President & CEO

Dear Mr. West,

I just had a brilliant idea on how Entergy can improve customer service in New Orleans. Please allow me to explain.

Every morning I ride my bike past the Entergy office located at the corner of Canal and Jeff Davis. Before 8:30 AM time there’s always a dozen or more people standing in line, waiting for the door to open. If I don’t see the line of people, I know that it’s past 8:30 and I’m running late.

As much as I appreciate the handy time-check, I’m pretty sure the people aren’t happy about standing in line. After all, no one likes to stand in line, especially in inclement weather. But the people are always there, rain or shine, waiting patiently.

I got to thinking. Why would anybody rise early and come to stand in line before the office is even open? Why not wait and come later in the day? Let me tell you, Rod, they aren’t standing there for their health, that’s for sure.

The answer is clear. These people have jobs. Most jobs are from nine to five. They are trying to take care of their business with Entergy before they go to work.

Therefore it seems to me that Entergy could save these folks a lot of hassle through a simple expedient which I will share with you now:

Open the office earlier.

Such an easy way to better serve your customers! Sure, it might cost a bit extra to have the office open longer, but I’m sure you can afford it given the $11 billion annual revenue of Entergy Corporation.

No need to thank me for this idea, Rod. The knowledge that the citizens of New Orleans are getting better service will be all the compensation I require.

Well, I guess if you wanted to knock a few bucks off my next bill I wouldn’t mind. Whatever you think is fair.

Yours sincerely,

Editor B

Update: Shortly after writing this letter, I opened up the Times-Picayune to see the following article at the top of the Money section:

Entergy Louisiana ranked last in J.D. Power customer service rating

Dear Mr. Carrere

Dear Mr. Carrere,

Your name was given to me as a good person to contact in Code Enforcement for the City of New Orleans.

Unfortunately a number of homes in my immediate neighborhood remain hazardous eyesores that have not been properly remediated since the floods of 2005.

Today I am writing to you about what I consider to be the worst of the lot: 3016 Bienville. This double today stands with both doors open and moldering furniture visible inside from the curb. It has never been gutted or even secured. Since I live literally around the corner, I pass by this house often. What I see makes my blood boil. But imagine how the people feel who live one or two doors down or across the street and must gaze upon this travesty every day — not to mention keeping their kids out of harm’s way.

This is a historic shotgun double, and as such it is an important part of the fabric of the block. It does not need to be demolished. Indeed its demolition would add injury to insult. It should be renovated. And in the meantime, it should be secured immediately.

It makes me furious to contemplate how a property owner could be so irresponsible, and so disrespectful to me and my neighbors. But furious or not, I understand that some people are just bad eggs. I can accept that. What I wonder about, and the reason I am writing you today, is to ask this question: What can the city do to hold the owner of this property accountable? What will you do?

For my part of I have filed every kind of report I can imagine on this property. We have received assurances that he’s going to sell, etc. And yet today the building still stands there without even the rudimentary and step of boarding up the front door as required by ordinance.

Personally I believe the owner should be fined and punished to the fullest extent of the law.

At the end of my rope,

Bart Everson

PS: You can see a picture of the house here.

3016 Bienville

Note that this photo was taken almost two years ago and not one thing has changed since then, except the weeds have gotten higher.

Dear General Zia

This is the second installment of three sample documents dredged up from my old Brother WP-500 disks. I think this letter more or less explains itself. I wrote a number of such letters, inspired by author Bruce West, and in fact that was my original motivation for purchasing the WP-500 in the first place. With its daisywheel printer, it produced documents that looked like they were typed the old-fashioned way. Thus, I think it has maximum impact when viewed in its original format. I’m embedding the document here; please use the “full screen” toggle button in the upper right corner to make it legible.