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I recently got an update to our homeowner’s policy. It’s something like a hundred pages long. Past updates were only a few pages. I’m supposed to wade through all this legalese? I’d have to hire a lawyer just to find out how badly we’re getting screwed. A quick glance reveals there’s a “trampoline exclusion” and a “hovercraft exclusion.” I am not making this up.

And to quote:

A specific exclusion for hovercraft liability is added. Hovercraft are also known as ground effect vehicles or air-cushioned vehicles and were excluded in your former policy as motor vehicles or motorized land conveyances.

On the other hand, I note that our policy covers our grave markers (or mausoleums) for any damage caused by fire, lightning, windstorm, hail, explosion, riot or civil commotion, aircraft (including self-propelled missiles and spacecraft), vehicles, smoke, vandalism or malicious mischief, theft, falling objects, weight of ice, snow or sleet, accidental discharge or overflow of water or steam, sudden and accidental tearing apart, freezing, sudden and accidental damage from artificially generated electrical current and volcanic eruption — for up to $5,000.

No coverage for nuclear hazards, though.

Published inFinancial Shit


  1. Fuck the trampoline owners. They damn well knew the risks when they bought those things. If I hear another trampoline owner bitch about how we’re all supposed to bail them out when their trampoline flies over the rainbow, then I think I’ll have to hurt someone.

  2. Tim and Sue Tim and Sue

    You are not the tramploine type — so forget that clause. We miss you guys in OUR neighborhood! Hang in there — neighborhoods are built one house at a time — you and Christy are doing just that — one day at a time. We think of you often and miss you.
    TM og Sue

  3. B, I used to be an Insurance Agent (albeit only licensed in Indiana), but if you have an electronic copy you could send it to me and I’d be happy to glance over it for anything out of the ordinary.

    Considering that you still live in a region that’s susceptible to another disaster similar to the one they’ve already paid out on, consider yourself lucky you still have insurance.

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