Shooting Blanks?

All the fretting we’ve been doing lately — me for the last few years, Xy for the last few months — about whether or not to have a child — has an ironic aspect. We have good reason to suspect that one of us may be shooting blanks.

Consider: We’ve been married and enjoying conjugal relations for nearly twelve years with no pregnancies. In fact, neither one of us has experienced pregnancy with any previous partner. I’ve been sexually active for 19 years, with three partners, none of whom have gotten pregnant. Xy has been sexually active for 23 years, with about ten times as many partners, and hasn’t gotten pregnant once.

OK, it’s hardly conclusive. We’ve both diligently practiced birth control. Perhaps it’s just a combination of that and luck. But it does raise the possibility that one of us might be physically incapable of having a child.

If that proves to be the case, the burning question becomes, “Do we want to adopt a child?” But that question seems to burn a little less intensely, for some reason. Less biological clock pressure, I suppose.

And of course I’d be pissed about all the hassle thrown away on birth control over the years.