- People who take the elevator to go up one floor when stairs are available. Using the elevator to go up two flights of stairs is almost as annoying. For some it’s a matter of physical laziness, but for many it’s more mental laziness. They just don’t think about taking the stairs. They take the elevator out of habit, even though it is wasteful of both their time and our resources. And that annoys me, especially because I have to take the elevator to get to my office. It’s on the fifth floor, and I’d walk all five flights if I could, but the geniuses who designed this building cut the stairwell off at the fourth floor.
- People who don’t get out of my way. Like I’m walking down the sidewalk and a pair of people is coming the other way. They’re walking two abreast. I, obviously, am not. I shouldn’t have to vacate the sidewalk to make room for them. And yet, I do, to avoid a collision. Essentially they’re running me off the road. That’s just rude.
- People who walk on the bike path. Pedestrians have sidewalks. Cars have the road. Why can’t we reserve the bike path (of which their are precious few in New Orleans) for bikes? But if you have to walk on it, make room for the bikes.
- People who block the bike path with their cars. Because of the way the Jeff Davis bike path is situated, cars coming to a stop on cross-streets often end up blocking the path. I don’t really blame people who do this; it’s confusing. It would be nice if their were markings on the street, similar to the striping for pedestrian crosswalks.
- People who don’t use turn signals. Not signalling your turn makes you unpredictable and therefore dangerous.
- Motorists who feel the need to give a warning honk when rolling up from behind. I’m on a bike, so I’m not enclosed behind glass windows. I can hear your internal combustion engine as you approach. The honk doesn’t help. It only startles.
- Parking honkers. Especially when they’re outside my house. They roll up and, instead of getting out of their car and knocking on the door of the person they’re picking up, they just sit their and honk. And honk. And honk. God, that’s annoying. Taxis are one thing, but regular civilians shouldn’t be so lazy and obnoxious. I’ve sometimes been known to start our car honking (via remote control) in response.
- People who honk for any reason except life-threatening emergencies. I don’t honk to say hi. I don’t honk when I’m mad. I don’t honk the horn of our car ever, really. Neither should anyone else, unless the situation is extremely urgent. Car horns are as annoying as hell.
- The guy who parks his Chevy Avalanche in front of our house every day. Is it a truck, or an SUV, or a tank? I’m not sure, but it’s almost as big as our house. Why would they name a vehicle after a natural disaster anyway?
- Cyclists who ride against traffic. I ride to the right so cars can pass me. It’s quite alarming to encounter a cyclist coming the other way — straight at me. One of us has to veer left (into traffic) or right (off the road) or we’ll collide. Naturally the person riding the wrong way is usually ignorant that he or she is doing anything wrong, so they think they have the right of way.
- People who don’t eat pork. Religious prohibitions against eating pork don’t annoy me. I have no beef with vegetarians either. I can respect that. It’s those non-Jewish, non-Muslim people who eat all kinds of meat — except pork. What the hell? It makes no sense at all.
- Jimmy Pardo. ‘Nuff said.