Speaking of Ashley Morris, some random guy left the following comment on my blog:
Ilove NO and would like to live there someday but the mentality of a large part of the minority population is that they are owed something. Since Katerna, there has been Taco and Mexican restaurants popping up every where. That is great because the people rebuilding NO need to eat. It is sad the lazy locals have no energy to rebuild there town. I was in NO 3 times in the last 2 monthes and see alot of sitting around. There are parts where I can’t tell what ghetoo was pre or post Katrena. I send my money to the MS Gulf Coast where the real damage occurred.
Joe Gallagher Worthington, Oh
Now if you’re wondering what that has to do with Ashley, you obviously didn’t know him. He would have made cyber-mincemeat out of this guy. He was a master of invective. Local bloggers often spoke of “channeling Ashley” when they went on a rant — and this was before he passed away, mind you.
I wish I could unleash the fury of Ashley on this guy from Ohio. He had the bad taste to leave his puerile comment on a post about Helen Hill, my other recently departed friend. Ashley had a word for guys like that.
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What a fuckmook.
Joe’s really got it all figured out… As well as a delusional tourist can. He’s been here three whole times in two months. Let me pull his trophy out of my arse.
Good job Joe, you made me angry and hungry… Where are the new taco and mexican restaurants?
He’s better off in Ohio, where there are no ghetoos. I’d go get a taco but it feels so good to just sit around. I have no energy.
Just today I mentioned in a post, how bad the Louisiana educational system was…seems Ohio isn’t much better, at least when it comes to subject-verb agreement and spelling.
New Orleans already has had to deal with the Federal Flood, George Bush and the Vagina-Friendly Mayor. That’s enough to put on anybody’s plate.
The last thing the suffering souls there need is another chickenshit damn Ohioan moving in with his damn Bermuda shorts, black socks and unquenchable appetite for “hoagies.”
And isn’t it always the case that the fellow who has it all “figured out” can’t even figure out that literacy thing? You’d think he had been warehoused in a “ghetoo” school in Cleveland or something.
So, while I regret to inform Mr. Gallagher that the Crescent City has exceeded its chickenshit-Ohioan quota for 2008, might I suggest that he amuse himself during his wait by throwing a match into the Cuyahoga River, then taking a refreshing swim.
What’s really dumb is the guy gave his first and last names and well as the name of his bumfuck town. One could easliy look up stuff about him.
Oh wait, I just did:
Joseph Gallagher
187 MELBOURNE PL
WORTHINGTON, OH 43085
(614) 781-0262
So the guy lives in a suburb of Columbus which, for a college town, is actually quite conservative.
I guess he’s still not over the ass kicking LSU gave Ohio State in the national championship game.
I think that you should make this into a contest – the response that best channels Ashley and slams this fuckmook will win the first-ever Ashely Morris award. The prize is that you send this spelling-challenged snotwad the winning entry.
Someone owes me a taco.
“I send my money to the MS Gulf Coast where the real damage occurred.”
for this comment alone, its easy to unleash the fury – just tell him FYYFF and add this to the reply
http://ashleymorris.typepad.com/fyyff.mp3
It’s hard to take illiterate people seriously.
All together now… “Fuck you, you fucking Ohio fuck.”
Ok, here goes:
(deep breath)
You sick fuckmook. You say you want to live here so bad and eat fucking tacos while the rest of us lazy shiftless minorities sit around on our patios and wait for the fucking mailman to bring us our fucking checks. Well guess what, mook? Since “Katerna”, everyone who’s come back has been busting “there” asses off rebuilding “there” houses without any fucking help from George Fucking Bush who is obviously your hero, as well as your intellectual superior.
Ever hear of Lafcadio Hearn? You claim that you long to become a New Orleanian someday, as if, so I’m assuming you must have. Wanna know what Hearn once wrote about New Orleans, mook? “It is better to live here in sackcloth and ashes than to own the whole state of Ohio.” Gee, why d’you suppose he picked Ohio? He probably got in a bar fight with your great-great-grandfather, who thought the name “Lafcadio” was Mexican and called him a wetback.
I’m sorry. I take back that “fuckmook”. You give fuckmooks a bad name. You’re what fuckmooks scrape off the bottom of their shoes after they’re done screwing us for the day. Fuck you, you fucking fuck!
(okay, now exhale)
Excellent, KamaAina. Ashley would be proud.
This guys is my scuzzbucket of the week.
It’s comments like this that make me want to say ” Buy us BackChriac !”
I’m a local. Born & bred here. While the poster is obviously an idiot, he does make a few valid points. Why are not more locals–especially unemployed youth–taking more advantage of some of the FREE training out there so they can join in the rebuilding? For example, this program (http://reconstruction.lctcs.edu/) is begging for people to sign up. Why are so many folks from other places doing the heavy lifting? Not everyone is busy fixing their own houses. I work in social services and see tons of shiftless young people who would rather hang on the corner or snatch purses than work. And why is crime so high here when jobs and free training are going begging? That sure puts the lie to that old saw that lack of jobs fuels crime. I think a bit of self-examination is in order.
Because contractors prefer to hire people who don’t care complain, will work for substandard wages because they’re willing to pile eight or ten to a flop. If your disappointed that there’s so many Black kids who want to hang out on street corners, perhaps we could spread the world around L.A. that there’s lots of easy pickins around here, and offer free bus tickets. That way no one would get the wrong impression. We could have a diverse, equal opportunity crime scene.
While I am sympathetic toward and grateful to the undocumented workers here, they are exacerbating other problems because they’re the first choice when it’s time to pick up labor.
Hey Mook Joe,
You know what? We don’t need you, your money or your friends in the invisible empire. FYYFF. Stay the hell out cause you’re not welcome anymore. We revoke your passport. The next time you’re looking for good food or a good time, you’re going to have to content yourself with flying down to Houston Hobby Airport for some Applebees and a movie at the mall. French Quarter Fest is off limits to you, jerkwad. And don’t let me catch you sneaking down here for Jazz Fest, either. That crawfish monica is for people who know how to enjoy life, not for uptight holier-than-thou dishrags who wouldn’t know a good meal from a frozen burrito. Mook.
Peace,
Tim, pretending to imitate the master…
Tim & KamaAina’s comments:
You both about sum it up. BTW, Joe Gallagher should also stay home in his basement and out of the gene-pool. It is obviously too deep for him.
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