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B @ 43

It’s shaping up as something of a tradition in its own right. My birthday has an overt tendency to suck. A quick recap may be in order.

  • 42: “Guess who forgot? That’s right. Xy.”
  • 41: “I’ve got no festivity in my life whatsoever. Xy didn’t even say ‘Happy Birthday’ this morning, and she has report card conferences this evening! No one at the office knows it’s my birthday, because I’ve kept it under wraps.”
  • 40: “Please be gentle with me. I’m making 40 today. I’d rather be thinking about other things, but life doesn’t seem to be working out that way, and this is what I’m stuck with. Like it or not.”

That 40th birthday was really the worst. Not only was I reeling from the brutal murder of a friend, I was also feeling pressure to be some sort of spokesman on the subject of violent crime, a role for which I found myself remarkably unsuited. Still I recall Xy managed to spend an evening sucking down oysters and booze in the Quarter. There was still a flicker of festive spirit there, however dark the backdrop. In terms of actual celebration it’s been strictly downhill since.

Prior to that I’m not sure, but I’d pretty much lost interest in my birthday after making 30.

Come to think of it, my 30th birthday pretty much sucked ass too, though I tried to put a good face on it: “Everyone was laughing and smoking and drinking and having a good time. Except for me. Well, I laughed and had a good time, but I didn’t drink or smoke. I never thought I’d be stone cold sober on my 30th birthday! Life is strange.”

Now back to the present. Our girl woke up around 4:00 AM and landed in our bed for a little nursing session, after which Xy fled to the couch downstairs. P let me sleep in until 9:00 AM. She woke up happy, I asked her whose birthday it was, and she said “Dada!” The day seemed to be getting off to an auspicious start.

Then Xy came up and informed me that she’d been barfing since 5:00 AM. And that pretty much set the tone for the rest of the day. It was very much a repeat of yesterday. Xy was sick yesterday with a migraine. This morning’s sickness may have been food poisoning. So I played “single dad” while Xy rested (when not puking) and tried to feel better.

Oh, yes, there are worse things — I know. I had fun taking the girl to the park in the morning. She was beside herself with joy at the prospect of sliding down the slide.


For lunch we went to Huevos, which is spitting distance from our new house. I got to meet the chef who has the same first name as me. I presume we don’t share the same birthday. But I didn’t check.

Xy’s feeling better now. We’re chugging on with our lives. Her birthday sucked too, for what it’s worth.

A number of people have suggested that Xy’s sicknesses, coming in the morning as they have, could be an indication of pregnancy. I have to respond: Not unless you know something I don’t. I know how babies get made and I can assure you I haven’t impregnated anyone lately.

Published inLife with XyMiscellaneous


  1. mike mike

    bart, baby: i transmit an internet hug to thee, and to thine. you know, like a long, gripping hug that says I’m glad you are, and have been, and will be.

  2. Lee Lee

    I know how you feel. Even though I’m many years your junior, I’ve become disenchanted with my birthday for many years now. It’s just another day amongst many others, right? Just be happy you got to spend it with P, she’ll always love you no matter what!

  3. Big belated birthday ((((((hugs)))))) to you. It is an auspicious day, no matter what happens. You are still here, and still loved. Be well.

  4. Brian Rice Brian Rice

    Sorry to hear of your birthday woes, Bart. I’m 51(!!!!!), and happy to chalk up each one that rolls around. I think those of us who graduated HS in the 70s are kind of surprised we made it this far – so each birthday past 45 or so is a bonus (that may sound trite, but I actually do feel that way)! My wife, Kellie, had a big problem with that 4-0 milestone, to the point of talking to a counselor at her work. Kellie: “My life hasn’t worked out the way I wanted it to,” Counselor: “Get over it. NOBODY’S life works out the way they wanted it to!” Harsh, perhaps, but effective – to some degree. Kellie’s problem is the ol’ biological clock’s tic, tic, ticking… But that’s another story. I suggest a postponement of the actual celebration until Xy feels better. XLIII + 1 week, perhaps? Could be a new tradition!

  5. Mom Mom

    Dad and I tried to Skype last evening to wish you a “Happy Birthday” but you didn’t answer — of course, I should have warned you ahead of time. We might have even sung a hearty version of the Happy Birthday song!

  6. Grampa Ray Grampa Ray

    I’m sorry to hear you didn’t have a better birthday. I echo Lee’s sentiments about little Persephone “she’ll always love you no matter what” and she sure is photogenic. Xy’s been ill way too long, I’m hoping she gets better soon and I know you feel that way too.

  7. Sorry you had a crappy bday and hope your wife is feeling better. Remember that bdays–like New Years eve–do have a way of sucking.

    Happy belated bday and be well.


  8. This post sort of freaks me out. Remember a few years ago when I was gradually taking over your life? It had to do with a picture in the paper that labeled me as you or something. Anyway, just about everything you write about here accurately describes my life as well. I guess it is just what happens to dads.

  9. mickymackyg mickymackyg

    Bart, we will try to do a low-key, pleasant, not made-in-china sort of acknowledgment of birthdays future. For now, Enjoy the birthday month!

  10. Jack Schick Jack Schick

    Don’t know what healers nor hippie witch-doctors y’all
    have tried for Xy….
    I have been getting good info about Increased Vitamin D3-Cholecalciferol,
    especially if ya aint gettin yer Sunshine, but even then…you need a LOT more
    than what US Gov RDA says….I have heard of 5,000 units daily being only
    enough for maintenance dose after catching up with therapeutic big hit.
    Dairy Products should be understood to be detrimental to you.
    please see notmilk dotte com….
    You probably need a Good Cal-Mag but don’t neutralize all yer tummy acids.
    Also…you need MORE MAG than the typical rap about 2:1 ratio.
    should be more like 1:1, and they say raise your Mag gradually until you
    are loose-boweled. There, you got it…and it needs to be CITRATE, or
    one of the newer Amino Acid Chelate (AAC) forms, not the cheaper ones.
    Heard an interesting talk about FUNGUS going unrecognized by common
    doctors, and a good-old-fashioned dose of Vick’s Mentholatum under the
    nose, lying down for nap, clearing out pipes, nasally and upper lungs…
    amazing results some folks say. Menthol kills fungus.
    I hope you didn’t get Flu shots….
    Rainbow Light Complete Nutritional System….ordered from Vitacost….
    these are “Da Kine” best multivitamin-greenfood product.

  11. […] far, this birthday is looking quite a bit better than #43. (Hm, #44 better than #43, what could that possibly portend?) I got to sleep in a bit, Xy fixed me […]

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