Yesterday we drove from New Orleans to Decatur, Alabama where we spent the night. They don’t sell liquor in this county on Sunday, even in restaurants. The next county (Cullman) is completely dry, I think. Since this area is halfway between New Orleans and Bloomington, we’ve stayed around here quite a few times. If you’re ever in Decatur and feeling hungry, Princeton’s has good food and bad music.
Speaking of music, every time we turned on the radio we seemed to hear something weird and disturbing. In particular, one station seemed to specialize in nasty old-school cheating jams. The lyrics were decidedly raunchy, like this duet:
Him: I swear, she was just giving me a shoe-shine
Her: Then how did her lip get stuck in your zipper?
This was repeated over and over just in case you didn’t get the point. After the song, a child called in to give a shout out to her daddy for Father’s Day. This was followed by a song with the memorable refrain “Whoop That Thang on Me,” which was also about cheating, and explicitly sexual. Immediately after, the DJ’s elderly mother calls in to say hello.
We also listened to some good old-fashioned preaching and learned all about the evils of the corrupt Roman Catholic Church and the pre-tribulation rapture.
So, the lesson is: John Barleycorn absent, the natives turn to celebratory frottage! Huzzah for Alabama’s libertines!