An Old Friend Looks Me Up

Although I’ve got a MySpace page, I never check it. Honestly, I loathe MySpace. Every aspect of it grates on my web design nerves. But I was feeling somewhat masochistic recently, so I logged in.

Imagine my surprise when I saw that someone had been trying to contact me, months and months ago. Imagine my amazement when I realized who it was. Kathy was one of my fellow American exchange students from my year in Sweden. That was twenty-one years ago! I apologized for the lengthy delay and sent her my e-mail address.

Here’s what she wrote back:

Why did I look you up?

Shoes.

Well shoes, and really my husband, Ben’s impatience with them. I have about 40 pair. It’s amazing how difficult it is to get quality shoes in a small northern California college town, so I drive the 4 hours to San Francisco every few weeks. Ben is determined to put a stop to it, he even canceled my credit cards, and informed me he wouldn’t pay the bill if I acquired any more.

I know he means it too. He spoke very much like this after our last child, when he said absolutely no more! I don’t like children very much, but babies are very cute, so I had six. I’ll admit I’m not very interested in them after about age 5, and now that all of them are over that age, our house might be a bit chaotic (and some say the kids are not really well behaved), but really what is he so upset about. He’s never home anyway.

And as far as him never being home, it’s obviously because of one of his two business partners. His partners are both women. Okay, I’ll admit they are both savvy, and successful, and interested in what he has to say. Or at least they pretend, I don’t know how they could actually listen to him drone on and on in his techno-speak (computer geek, you know). But they sure make him believe it. He makes really good money, and they probably think to get their hands on it. They have no idea how stingy he is with that money. I say they can have him.

Anyway, I’ve decided I need a new man. I looked you up because you seemed to have a lot of potential as a kid. Yes, I’m pushing 40, and overweight, and I have a bit of an addiction to daytime television that might bother some people. Although, it’s really beyond me how anyone can resist the high drama when Maury tells us who they baby’s real daddy is. It makes me cry every time. Still, I’m just a simple woman at heart, the kind every man secretly dreams of. So if your interested, how much money do you make?

-Kathy S