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There’s a Naked Woman on My Porch

From an anonymous Mid-City neighbor:

At a Night out against crime gathering tonight an NOPD officer was asked by a neighbor… Why didn’t the police come out when I called after being woken up by a house alarm at 3am? The officer’s reply… “Call and say there is a naked woman on your porch.” He proceeded to go into greater detail about this scenario. He seemed pretty amused with himself. He agreed at some point that the neighbor should get a gun which underscores the fact that we are on our own.

So as far as I can tell from our night out against crime… we are willing to come together as a neighborhood, however the NOPD would rather respond to a report of a peep show than do their damn job and make an appearance at our outing because they have to. He promised 250 officers would show up if someone calling the police claimed there was a naked woman on the porch. He even boasted what he claimed to be a true scenario where this happened, and hell he told my neighbors that police even showed up on horseback for a call like that!

Not only was this an inappropriate scenario which amused the officer for quite a few minutes, there were children and elderly neighbors at this gathering along with the worried neighbor who could not get the NOPD to respond to their calls just a few nights ago — it clearly explains why crime is so high in this city. I had hoped that this was an isolated incident, but after a night out against crime, I feel less convinced that we are safe in our neighborhoods.

Published inNeighborsNew Orleans


  1. We had a well attended Night Out. 4 Different Neighborhood Orgs met at Palmer Park. Oddly none of our Council People showed up.

  2. sounds like that NOPD officer is mimicking the behavior of our frat boy prez

  3. We went to the Calhoun gig. The cops there seemed enthusiastic and earnest. Having said that, I will never forget the home invasion several years ago wherein, after hiding in a closet upstairs for over an hour, waiting for the police to show up, I was finally told to get a gun. My conclusion? We are on our own.

  4. Everytime somone mentions getting a gun, I remember the story of a neighbor when I lived in the Irish Channel. His house was broken into while he was sleeping on the sofa. The intruder found his gun and some other stuff without waking him.

    He was terrified that he might have been shot if he woke up after the intruder found the loaded gun.

    Then theres another gun on the street.

  5. Seung Seung

    For the record, Councilmember Midura and staff attended 18 events last night. Midura herself went to 8. We passed by the Palmer Park event after the Oak St. event, but the Palmer Park event was shutting down, chairs were being folded up, almost everyone had left. It was a little after 7pm. We then proceeded to the Palm Air event.

    We apologize for not making the Palmer Park event before it ended, but are happy to hear it was so successful.

  6. David David

    Our police are a roving gang, more likely to brutalize you than solve your problems.

  7. Seung Seung

    Correction, our staff hit almost 30 Night Out Against Crime events last night.

  8. Frank Schiavo Frank Schiavo

    I don’t think I need to get a gun. That’s why we pay police, to have guns. Chances are I’ll get shot with my own gun before I’d shoot NAY robber and/or his family or a friend of him would gun me down as revenge anyway. What I want, and what I told a cop friend who said something not very different over dinner last night on our way to a night out-event was what they are are paid to do–to protect & serve. I’ll help them and do neighbor hood watch stuff, not too much trouble I think. However the cops are, or should, the professionals in crime & crime provention and it is their job to answer calls. If that is too tough to do, they need people down at the post office and maybe that is a better carrer choice. Of course David [my friend the cop] was a little hurt by this. I told him it isn’t personal, but most folks in this town, despite how many cops stayed to help during Katrina, don’t trust the cops. They don’t see why they should. I mean, don’t tell people to arm themselves– even in jest. When they say stuff like that they say they can’t help you & you are on your own.

  9. As someone who was never victimized (homewise) in the Marigny pre-Flood, I do have observations on the situation.

    I am a night owl, and bedtime is dawn for me. Same goes for our Gentilly house. I see what moves up and down the streets. The odds of a daylight break-in is pretty much nil, and yes…. many years of living overseas have taught me how to sleep with my 9mm friend very close. It’s just what you do when living in hostile territory.

    In the Marigny I had a reputation for walking out on my porch at 4 AM bearing a pistol when I heard strange noises in the middle of the night. I surprised two folks attempting to break into my neighbors’ houses, and no-one ever attempted to touch my place over my four years there. Several neighbors down the street had break-ins, but not my house. (Helen Hill was killed four doors down this year, but I had been gone for two years.)

    I was taught to defend the house and family back in the Civil Rights Era… my parents were activists and many nights my job was to protect the house while they were away. It was part and parcel of dealing with the Klan back then. All that I was taught still holds true today.

    You see, guns are not the problem… they are your last resort to protect your people and property, especially when you are confronted by people who do not care about their own lives. The only sticking point is when one doesn’t understand when and how to use them.

    There are many ways to protect one’s home without guns, but once the horde gets past those defenses, you are trapped as are they. You must have your final line of defense.

    I know that many folks, especially Liberals, are afraid of guns. I’m not afraid of them, just very respectful of what they can do. (eight years of Shore Patrol and I never pulled my piece or my baton… but every moment I knew that I could, and would, do what was needed to handle the situation.)

    This is not to say that one “shoots to kill”, it’s just that you can send the warning shot and they will flee. It is your way of scaring the horde off.

    Please take this info from someone who has a good heart and loves their folks, and will never let them come to harm.

    This is not about being an NRA nut-case, but about understanding a position and a scenario. NOPD is worthless when it comes to this crap.

  10. BTW- 10 of the horde just passed our rented cottage on the way to the Marigny/Quarter. The hunters are now loose…

    This IS a war.

  11. Frank Schiavo Frank Schiavo

    I don’t own a gun and don’t really like them, but I do respect them and the idea that responsible people should be able to own them. When it comes down to it, they are tools, just like a screwdriver, a hammer and a knife. It isn’t the tool, it is the tool user that is the problem.

    I am debating buying one for our return to Lakeview. Yes, little old Lakeview. It bugs me. I am angry that I have to consider this and that I can’t depend on our police force to do their jobs so I don’t have to buy one. I mean I can take shooting lessons, go to a firing range & such, but the chances are still better I will be disarmed and shot with my own gun or won’t get to it in time to use it then it would be any good to me. And I feel that if I have to pull a gun to defend myself, maybe I have failed somewhere. I am pissed that me and the friends & family I have in this city [much more than in most cities in this country] have to live in fear–as much from the poor job of law enforcement as from the crooks.

  12. Disappointed Disappointed

    For the record, the Palmer Park Night Out Against Crime ended at 8PM and not 7PM as indicated by a member of Ms. Midura’s staff.

    There were ~100 people at the park at 7PM, from 4 neighborhood organizations in Carrollton: Central Carrollton, Palmer Park, NorthWest Carrollton & Fountainbleau – the 4 corners.

    There is no excuse: Midura should have been there. 5 minutes of “hello, thank you for supporting crime fighting efforts but I have to be off to another gathering” would have sufficed. It didn’t happen. It is completely unacceptable and insulting to say that the gathering ended at 7PM. Worse it is an outright lie.

    A little before 7PM: Neron Place and NorthWest Carrollton were recognized for completing the Neighborhood Watch Training and provided with Neighborhood Watch Street signs. There were 3 uniformed police officers at the Park for this part of the event.

    Captain Kirk of the 2nd District and a number of his officers (4+) attended showing up a little after 7:30PM. We were very pleased that they came.
    Fire Fighters from the Carrollton – End of the Line Firestation visited as well.
    FOX news was also there early in the evening.
    The folks missing in action were our City Council Members.

  13. Dragon Lass Dragon Lass

    Mr. Schiavo, are you perchance the Frank Schiavo who used to live in Biloxi, and was a close friend of Pamela J. who owned at one time Dragon’s Workshop and attended many conventions that you were a working member of? If so, please, please get in touch with me.

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