June 3, 1992: DialAmerica

I don't think I've mentioned it, but DialAmerica has moved the shifts up an hour earlier to take advantage of Daylight Savings Time on the east coast. So we go into work at 7:30 to catch people coming into their offices at 8:30.

That means I have to get up before 7:00; getting up this morning after four hours of sleep was an exercise in hatred and pain. I hated the world and everyone in it, myself included.

It wasn't until after two full hours of wakefulness, and one cup of coffee, that existence became tolerable. It took another hour on top of that, plus a peanut butter and honey sandwich, to feel downright ecstatic. Yes, even at the Dial there are moments of perfect contentment.

But for the most part, work was the usual mixed bag: loathing, worry, tedium, determination, frustration, triumph, despair, resolution, mischieviousness, guilt, bitterness, cynicism, resignation, humiliation, indignation, scorn, misanthropy, loneliness, wonder, love and hate, etc.

When I got home from the Dial at 1:00 PM, the apartment door was still locked. I had to knock hard to wake K___ up. She was still asleep! I envied her.

I took a nap while K___ went to Bloomingfoods to get some buckwheat kernels. When she returened, about 45 minutes later, I lured her back into the bedroom for a long and luxurious midday fuck. There's nothing like feeling really fatigued and having your dick sucked.

I got high and watched the brewing storm break while K___ napped. Eventually I got started on the Mexican kasha dish. Got it finished just as Heather G____ arrived. K___ and Heather and I ate together, and then Heather and I went over to the coffeehouse and talked about some of the poems she's been working on: "Sophistication" and "Dreams of Going Southwest."

K___ and I continue to dream of going southwest. Should be hearing back from Arizona soon.