I can feel the cord pulling through me. Through my stomach and my head. Is there only one cord? Are all other souls just part of the same cord? Perhaps, but I often feel alone. But even alone, I can feel beautiful, terrible, all the aspects of God. Everyone should come to terms with their godhood.
By writing these things down, I am hoping to record the wisdom of an "exalted" state of consciousness. (It feels exalted now. Will it look exalted later? Possibly not, but then, I'm so confused now that I can't write clearly. That is, I'm so non-verbal, I'm riding the flux, everything's flowing and nothing is solid. And it's hard to write these solid words, because I'm in an alien dimension.
"Kris, while you were gone I left this dimension and went to another plane where certain wisdoms were revealed to me."
The writer as messenger, as go-between for God and Man. The Prophet. Is my god myself, something larger than myself? Does that matter? Yes, it does. And the answer is that I am a god myself. Not part of some larger godhead. (or, if a part, a part unaware of its parthood) I am a god. I am God. I am a god. I am God. If people came to worship me, would I let them? If every fucking person on the planet suddenly cared about my every moment -- what then? Why -- do what I say! Stop the wars and live right, people; that's all the worship I require -- utopia.
THE EXALTATION AND DEFEAT OF MARTIN NEVERSON
He became a god through drugs. But also through the many -- countless -- other things that he was, things generated by media other than drugs. Like solitude. Weakness. Intelligence? Ecstacy may, perhaps, be accessible to everyone in theory, but what happens before and after is very different. I write. I string stories like beads. Weave enough beads and you'll begin to see some patterns.